I once had a teacher who said "You don't get taller by chopping the other guys legs off." As a teen, this made total sense to me. You don't look better by making me look worse. This is apparently not something that children understand intuitively. And I'm not sure I've figured out the best way to teach it.
On top of the frequent bickering I find in our home (among these children who utterly adore each other, mind you) I'm now finding a tendency to act better if someone else is getting in trouble. For example, I discovered today that someone cut Piper's hair. It wasn't Piper and it wasn't Bridget. I thought it might have been one of the neighbor kids. I was right.
So, once I'd gotten the story from Piper, Bridget pops in with her own commentary: "No one cut my hair" she says. When I mention that I'll have to take Piper to have her hair fixed, Bridget adds again, "No one has to fix my hair. My hair is fine." This happens a lot. I tend to ignore it, as I think it's probably the fastest and most effective way to show that I will not respond to attempts to look better at a sibling's expense.
I didn't realize until I had children, how much there is to teach them. Beyond Math and the ABC's, I have to teach them that if they spent half as much time working together as they do telling each other what to do, the job would be done already! I have to teach them teamwork, kindness, selflessness, service, honesty, and every other virtue that will make them better people. If I really think about it, it's totally overwhelming. Thankfully I get to take life and this parenting thing one minute at a time.
On top of the frequent bickering I find in our home (among these children who utterly adore each other, mind you) I'm now finding a tendency to act better if someone else is getting in trouble. For example, I discovered today that someone cut Piper's hair. It wasn't Piper and it wasn't Bridget. I thought it might have been one of the neighbor kids. I was right.
So, once I'd gotten the story from Piper, Bridget pops in with her own commentary: "No one cut my hair" she says. When I mention that I'll have to take Piper to have her hair fixed, Bridget adds again, "No one has to fix my hair. My hair is fine." This happens a lot. I tend to ignore it, as I think it's probably the fastest and most effective way to show that I will not respond to attempts to look better at a sibling's expense.
I didn't realize until I had children, how much there is to teach them. Beyond Math and the ABC's, I have to teach them that if they spent half as much time working together as they do telling each other what to do, the job would be done already! I have to teach them teamwork, kindness, selflessness, service, honesty, and every other virtue that will make them better people. If I really think about it, it's totally overwhelming. Thankfully I get to take life and this parenting thing one minute at a time.
I hear ya the bickering can sometimes really get old! I try to make sure that I also listen in on all the good things they are saying and not just focus on the negative. A work in progress they are and it is not just us working with them God has a hold on them as well!~ Blessings Heather
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