Friday, November 28, 2014

Seriously,People, Why?

Photo from Full Story here
It was Thanksgiving yesterday, and that was fun. I thought I might tell you about it.

But then, today is Quinn's 7th birthday (Happy Birthday, Kiddo!) and I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. I mean, wasn't it just yesterday that I was posting his birth story?

Now he's all big, and into all things Lego and Star Wars.

He's such a good boy.

So, I thought I might talk about that,

But no.

No, I saw something on Facebook and I can't stop thinking about it.

You guys, there were naked people getting married.

Hey, I get it. Wedding dresses are expensive. But you know, David's Bridal totally has a discount section. Some of those dresses are under $100. And I say, maybe let people eat spaghetti, and buy yourself a dress with the savings.

So, I went looking for a I could show you what I mean about the naked people getting married.

I assumed that there would be one such picture available. Because how often does this happen?

I was so very very wrong.

There are so many people getting married naked! Wha...why?

Look, I really try hard not to be too judgmental. I mean, to each his or her own. Especially when it doesn't affect me in the slightest. But wow.

I can never unsee what has been seen, people. And the picture of the wedding that initially led me down this rabbit hole? They're not even crazy Americans. No, British friends, this lovely couple is yours.

And I have to say, after reading the story, I'm more confused than ever. When they started the wedding, they had clothes. Perfectly good clothes, covering up all of their bits in front of their Mums and their Nanas.

But they took them off. On purpose.

Has it become unseasonably warm in Britain? It this what Global Warming means to future generations? Now everyone has to start getting naked at their weddings? Won't those be fun pictures for the mantle. Grandad will be thrilled to show of those pictures when he visits with friends.

Seriously, there aren't too many things I fear for my children. But now I have a new one to add to my short list.

Please, please don't let my children get married naked.

They can marry whomever they want. I don't care about the gender or skin color of their partner. I just want the person they marry to love them.

And now I want them to wear clothes.

I really don't think I'm asking too much.

If you believe in wearing clothes to your wedding, click the banner below. It won't force people to wear clothing, but will cast a vote for my blog. Which I need. I'm down to number 30! Thanks, guys. You're the best, as always!
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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Thanksgiving Gratitude

Because I'm lazy, I'm going to copy some other bloggers and write a post about what I'm thankful for.

There is always so much to be thankful for.

For example....

I'm Thankful For Writing:

I'm thankful for my writing. Both creative, and this blog, I'm grateful for a voice in the world. You'll likely never end up reading any of my stories because they blow. But the outlet of writing is my therapy. And let's face it, I need that.

I'm Thankful For Wine:

I sometimes get wine delivered by a nice man in a uniform. It's wine. Delivered to my house. I don't even have to go out for it. Need I say more? Now I just need a glass like that...

I'm Thankful For Naptime:

When the world is too much, a nap makes everything better. Be it them or me, we'll all be happy. Napping is a beautiful thing, and everyone should take them.

I'm Thankful For My Job:

Today I got to talk to another mom for half an hour about our birth experiences. We talked about nursing her next baby and ways to make it go better than it did in the past. It didn't even feel like work!

I'm thankful for my amazing family and wonderful friends. I'm also thankful for each of you who read here. As I've told you many times, without you, I'd just be talking to myself.

Thank you.

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Monday, November 24, 2014

Napping Is For The Weak!

The Motto of my children...
Filed under "ridiculous things my kids believe" has to be the idea that naptime is some kind of horrific, and undeserved punishment.

As if I'm sending them to be tortured.

As if I'm locking them up indefinitely for crimes against humanity.

It's really just a damn nap.

A nap, by the way, is something I'd love to take. Oh, if only naps were for me.

I could earn a napping crown

I could medal in napping in the sleep Olympics.

I could get a PhD from a major napping university. That's a thing, right? I might be sleep deprived.

Just give me a blanket and a fluffy pillow, and it is on.

But not my kids. What is wrong with them?

The list of things my children seem to prefer to napping include having their teeth pulled without anesthesia, waterboarding, and poking needles in their eyes.

In fact, if you come to my house at the right time of day, you might think that's actually what I've done to Liam, based on the noises you'll hear coming from his room.

The thing is, if they don't nap, then their mission changes. Instead of the usual world domination, their focus becomes my destruction.

They start with my mind, using the time-honored small children's tools of whining and crying.  Then Liam starts going for the body, with unsuspecting toddler slaps and head-butting my face. That hurts, by the way.

And why? Because he didn't sleep! Which he refused to do, because he didn't want to in the first place. But who in the hell do I think I am, allowing him what he wants?  I'm the mother, and clearly responsible for being stronger than him. He will insist that I pay if I fail in my duty.

Trying to figure out my childrens' feelings about naptime is harder than trying to stick a wet noodle in a bear's butt. Which is really hard. You should try it. Turns out they're not receptive at all.

But they need it. I need it. (The kids and the naps I mean, not the bears. The bears probably don't really need the wet noodles at all)

Naps are a good thing. I just have to convince my kids.....

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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Make Thanksgiving Fun

I may just be speaking for myself here, but I don't find Thanksgiving to be all that fun.

Not that I don't enjoy time with family and friends. And hey, nothing is better than when other people cook it.

It's stressful. There's a ton of food to make and things to do. And half the food I'm not even excited about eating. I mean, I'm not an amazing foodie, or a trained chef, so my turkey is probably never going to be all juicy and wonderful.

I'm not sure if the first turkey I cooked was even done.

Then we eat for two weeks, something we didn't like that much on the first day.

So Dominic and I decided that, hey, this is our family and we can make our own traditions here, so screw it. Let's make stuff we like!

We talked to the kids and came up with a basic menu of things we actually want to eat.
  • Chicken enchiladas verdes
  • Refried beans
  • Stuffing
  • Refried beans
  • Cranberry sauce
  • Spanish rice
  • Green bean casserole
  • Pie
So, we're going to make our own Thanksgiving. We're going to eat food we want, and watch movies, and maybe after the kids go to bed, we'll drink wine and play a game of  Cards Against Humanity with some neighbors. A game which always reminds me that, no matter what I like to think, I'm not a nice person.

Holidays are a time to enjoy each other. So if you can, make it fun. Make it your own. Besides, the thing I'm most thankful for, is my family. I'd like to spend time with them, not in the kitchen.

Make it a real celebration.

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