Liam Passes A Test! Sort Of.

Maybe I've mentioned that Liam head bangs.

Not like a rock star or anything. That would be fine.

No. Liam gets mad, frustrated, upset, annoyed, or, you know, finds a hangnail, and bangs his head with great force on whatever is close.

Whatever is close can vary. It could be anything. Like, the wall, a table, the floor, my face.

Oh yeah, I did say my face. Which really hurts, by the way. That child does not hold back.

So, I brought this up to his Pediatrician.

I mean, my kid has a permanent goose-egg on his forehead, and I'd like to know why he's doing this, and how to help him.

I'd also like people to not think I'm hitting him in the head with a hammer or something.

Anyhow, our Doc talked with the Neurosurgeon's Nurse Practitioner, and he ordered a CT and shunt series (which are basically x-rays that show where his shunt is and if everything is copacetic).

Ever dragged a toddler to a hospital from a nap?  If so, I"m really sorry.

The good news was that he'd slept a little, and was not a complete crab-fest.

The bad news was that he still hates CT machines, x-rays, and me for making him do it. And there was not enough sleep to make that okay. Not that there is enough. I'm not sure chloroform would make him comply with people making him lie down on a table to take pictures of his brain.

He's really stubborn like that.

The end result is that we don't know any more than we did before. His fluid levels haven't changed, even though they upped the flow of the shunt in February. INow they want to do a flow study to see if it's draining properly.

They've promised to sedate my toddler for that.

Doesn't that sound fun?

And of course I have mixed feelings. I'm glad there's nothing clearly wrong with the shunt that is causing my sweet boy pain, or anything. I'm also frustrated that it's not something simple that we could see and fix. Because my little Liam is still headbanging.

And still on my face.

On a cuter note, I think we read some of his favorite books 50 times each, and it turns out that he knows some new animals. Like elephant. He's really cute when he says elephant.

And being with his Mama can still make him calm down and be his sweet self again. Eventually. It's comforting to know I still have a little of the magic left.

*****
If this post didn't make you want to bang your head, I'm glad! If you like my blog you could maybe click the link below which registers a vote for me. And, have I told you that you're the best? And that you're pretty? Well, now I have!

Motherhood: It's Not A Competition

Liam did a couple of really wonderful things today.

He told his daddy, "I lub you" clear as a bell. And later, when he wanted to try my glass of wine, he said "Uh wan sum". Liam learning 3 word sentences and using them appropriately is huge news for him, seriously.

That got me thinking about how raising a kid with special needs isn't like a movie where you build up to a climax and then everything works out. It's a series of successes and failures.

I had this whole blog post planned.... But then I went looking for an image for the post.

And I found the one above.

Moms, this is what is wrong with us.

Motherhood is not a damn competition.

There aren't points for natural birth (or birth at all). There aren't points for how many kids you have. There aren't points for crunchy living, or attachment parenting. And there sure as hell aren't points for having kids with special needs.

My kids are all special. Some of them are special for different reasons, but they're all special to me. And they make me better, sure, but not better than other moms. They make me a better me.

We all have a superhuman love for our kids. We all do more in a day that people realize. We all put aside our own wants and needs to meet the needs of our babies.

Our challenges may vary, but it's a damn hard job for everyone.

I can't stop people from making memes like that.

I can't stop people from treating both parenting choices and circumstances beyond their control, like levels in a game I never got the rules to.

But as for me? I'm going to try to encourage and support.

I'm going to recognize that I'm not better than anyone else.

And I'm going to keep treating this whole motherhood gig, like something we're all in, together.

*****
If you love your kids and wake up trying to do the best for them every day, than you're a good parent.
And if you like my blog, maybe you could be a good parent who clicks the link below to register a vote for me? Thanks. You're the best!

Liam Has Surgery

He wasn't gaining much weight. He wasn't keeping much food down.  He seemed to be in pain.  And so, another ultrasound was ordered and we finally heard the words we'd hoped to avoid: Liam needed a shunt.

It was a rough week as I took him to appointments and did my best to prepare myself.  Because I have the best friends in the world, I ended up with very little alone time, and a house full of food.  Then last Friday, Liam had a successful surgery.

He and I came home on Sunday, after two days in the hospital, to find Karina home from college.  Then my parents came Monday from California. They've been here all week for an incredible visit.  I can't explain how much I enjoy watching my children spend time talking to and cuddling with their grandparents.

I may need a week to recover from Thanksgiving and from the stress of Liam's surgery.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that he is able to get the care he needs.  It's just still stressful to watch my baby have to recover from something else when I just want him to be healthy and happy.

I'm really grateful though.  Grateful for supportive family.  Grateful for friends with their casseroles, hugs, and humor.  Grateful for medical professionals who've gone so far above and beyond for my son.  Grateful for those who know what he needs and how to get it for him.

Happy Thanksgiving