February 19, 2004

I'd forgotten how beautiful the night is. The house is quiet, the stars are shining, and it's just Bridget and me. She has more awake time each day, though it's still not too much. She's stopped sucking her tongue all the time, and my breasts are less tender and not so hard, so our feedings are becoming more comfortable.

Don't get me wrong. I love my other children, and I love seeing how attentive and concerned they are about their new sister. But there is just something about the nights. Dominic has asked if I want to start pumping so he can take a feeding during the night. I love the idea, but I'm just not ready yet. I really love that she's all mine at night. I think I'm going to continue to enjoy it for as long as possible.

Another mommy from our group came by this morning with some delicious smelling pot roast and veggies, and some definitely yummy chocolate chip cookies. Not to mention a great double CD set of lullabies. I think maybe having babies is worth it for the food alone!

I had forgotten how Dominic is with new babies. He's absolutely convinced that our house is the best when there's a baby in it. But he tends to be a little nervous when they're so small. He loves Bridget and wants to hold her and cuddle with her, but his kiss covers half her face, and she's so fragile looking that it makes him over cautious. I think he's right about how the house feels with a baby. I think we're that kind of family.

I wonder if anyone saw Law and Order the other night. It was about a homeschooling mom that actually convinced her one son to kill the other and then himself, but the gun jammed and he only succeeded in killing the brother. There was a one-minute speech from another homeschooling mom where she explained her reasons for homeschooling and that this particular mother had issues. But I think that one-minute was completely overshadowed by the story line and the time spent talking to people in the school system who put down homeschooling. The one woman at the district office talked about how school is a safety net to catch things like abuse, and how terrible it is that there isn't more regulation. I was sorely disappointed. Sure there are some bad homeschooling parents, but no more than in the average population. There are plenty of kids who are abused AT SCHOOL by peers or adults. And there are plenty of kids who are abused and sent to school where it's not caught. I hope that story didn't make people think that homeschooling parents are all out to isolate their children so that they can abuse them. It's certainly not why I chose to homeschool.

I wonder if perhaps I'm becoming a little odd in my thinking. It seems to me with a push for compulsory kindergarten in some states and school sponsored pre-school that there is this push to get children in the system younger and younger. Why aren't parents being held more responsible for their children? I'm uncomfortable with the idea that people can have children and turn their rearing over to the government. I'm also uncomfortable with some people's idea that the government is more capable than the parents. I think I'm qualified to raise my own kids. I'm sure not everyone would agree with all of my decisions, but I'm not here to please them. I'm here to raise children who can be self-sufficient adults. But, hey, I'm a crazy homeschooling mom, right?