Ordinary Pagan Mom?

Courtesy of Magical Graphics

Finding a new blog theme was hard.  Like I explained yesterday, it was pull my hair out, cry, and yell at inanimate objects hard.  But it made me think about what I want my blog to be about, and what I want it to mean.

I started this blog as a homeschooling mom.  It's complete focus was on our schooling and what we were doing.  I wanted people to see how much was involved in homeschooling.  We were doing so much!

Then the blog morphed.  It became a mommy blog, and specifically one with a Christian focus, as I was quite devoted to my faith.

I have tried to explain to people why I chose to leave the faith.  I wish I could point to one thing, like what happened when Sarah died, but really Sarah's death started me down a path I didn't even see at the time.  There were so many things, and so many reasons.  But make no mistake, it was a choice.  I found myself becoming more angry, resentful, and bitter.  I wanted to love the faith, and I had to leave before I stopped.  I see Christianity as a path I neededto walk. I had to explore it.  I had to learn things about myself that I would not have learned otherwise.  When I left, I was unsure of where I would end up.  I read a lot, and found myself drawn to Paganism, but not for the same reasons as I had when I was younger.  I wasn't choosing Paganism to rebel, but because I wanted a faith that I felt honored the Divine that moved through all living things, that allowed me a path to participate without the need for anything or anyone else, and provided me with the freedom to express my faith as best as I understood it and without having to judge the rightness of what anyone else believed. (How's that for a run-on sentence?)

I have fought with myself over how the blog should progress from there, and subsequently, I've found myself writing less, as I'm not sure of my own direction.  Do I this to be a Mom Blog?  Maybe, but I want to acknowledge that I'm more than that.  Do I want this to be a Special Needs Mom blog?  Maybe, but I'm more than that, too.  And I'm of the opinion that my kids need me to be the person who helps teach them to navigate their world more easily.  Which is what my regular needs kids require as well.  Is it humor, drama, serious, deep?  I think it's all of those things.  It's life.

The biggest question was, did I want to sort of re-brand myself as a Pagan Mom Blog?  Well, first of all, there are others out there who are doing that far better than I could, and who are far more knowledgeable. They also tend to be geared toward other Pagans.  I hope other Pagans read me, but I hope non-Pagans do, too.  I have been concerned about talking about faith and religion too much.  First of all, I don't want to be overbearing.  I've seen it, I've done it, I never want to beat anyone over the head with my religion ever again.  Second of all, I didn't want to alienate anyone.

So, that second-of-all thing I wrote, is kind of a big deal for me.  I've been sitting with it a while, and it's only finally working itself through to some conclusion.  And here's what I've finally decided: I hope that anyone who has questions about what I believe, would ask me.  I'd even be happy to do a post answering questions about what I believe.  I'd like people to get to understand that Pagans are everywhere, and we volunteer for the PTO, we're your nurses, mechanics, teachers, therapists, and more.  I want people to see that we're not to be feared, and we're not a bunch of crazy weirdos.  At the same time, it's not my job to make everyone comfortable all the time.  Some people won't like it, some people won't like me, and that's okay.  I can live with it.

After all that, I still am not entirely sure where this blog is going.  I'm just hoping you'll come along for the ride.  Again, feel free to ask me anything.  I'm largely an open book.  I'm also playing with my tagline.  Tagline writing is hard.