My son is going to graduate from High School soon. I can't slow it down, and I can't get a do-over for anything I might have screwed up along the way.
He's not going away to college. And I suppose I could get all bogged down in the idea that he's not doing something that other kids are, but you know, he's going to graduate. That's not true for all High School Seniors.
And there may be some who don't think that I have any right to complain about that. Because maybe their kids aren't graduating. But hey, at least they're healthy. They've got that.
Well, unless they don't. And those parents could easily look at the parents of a kid who isn't graduating and think that they have nothing to complain about.
Of course, some kids haven't made it to their senior year. For one reason or another, they're not here anymore, and their grieving parents wish they had their child, even unwell, to hold.
We've all got something to worry about, be nervous about, or be afraid of.
We've all also got something to rejoice over, be thankful for, and appreciate.
I read a blog recently of a mother who is skipping her child's graduation. I don't judge her choice. I can't say what the right thing is for her and her child. I just know that I read a lot in the comments that was very judgemental about "normal" parents and all the things they're worried about.
Not that I've never been guilty of this. There have been times it's been hard for me to watch my friends children doing things I don't know if mine ever will. But I can not get bogged down in the "whose pain is worse" game. No one ever wins at that, and you just feel dirty for having played it.
Life is hard. But none of us has a monopoly on hardship. And it's not always hard. We take turns with the hardship, like a horrific game of hot potato, passing it from one to another.
None of us will get to escape catching it at some point.
But life is also sweet, and full of unexpected joys. Liam asked me a whole question today, a whole sentence, with the word please at the end. My baby who I wasn't sure would make it, now asks me questions. He says "please" and "thank you." Sometimes he even tells me he loves me.
Like Natalie Merchant says, "I tell you, life is sweet, there's so much more, be grateful."
I have a lot to be grateful for, and I think I will be a much happier person if I live from that place, than one of jealousy and bitterness. And that's the only gift the "whose pain is worse" game has ever given me.
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