Providence

Three years ago we had four kids in a two bedroom apartment. A family in our homeschool support group had to move out of their home due to a change in job and had no luck selling it. One day they called us and asked if we'd like to rent-to-own. They thought maybe God had another plan for their house, and maybe it had to do with us.

A lot of things had to come together to allow us to buy the house 18 months later, and it was very stressful. But somehow it all worked out, and a little over a year ago, we finally became home owners. It was very exciting.

Then everything went wrong. Hospital bills from Quinn's NICU stay came due. My hours at work decreased. The overtime that Dominic usually picked up, went away, and with the changes in the economy, no one wanted to give him their hours to work. On top of all that, we got two Autism diagnoses, and many people know how quickly Autism can become expensive.

It became hard to make our mortgage payments, so I did what I was told to do. I called the mortgage company and explained what was going on. One person I talked to said it was a hardship and what paperwork to send in. I did it. They lost it. Then someone else said we had a change in income and didn't qualify. Too bad for us. I was surprised at how quickly we were in forclosure. Of course, we took steps to remedy our situation. Cutting back on expenses, working more, etc. we had a plan to be able to pay our mortgage, if they'd just let us.

Then I heard about a new program we might qualify for. Within 24 hours, I had all the paperwork turned in to apply. I was told that it would take 90 - 120 days to hear if we were approved. I applied in February. Then I got pregnant. Oops.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter from Reagan's biological dad agreeing to his adoption, but asking if we could forgive his rather large past due child support debt. We talked about it. Over and over, a parable kept popping into my head:

Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

Matthew 18:32-35

Dominic and I wish Reagan's biological dad the best. We'd like him to do well, and be successful. We forgave him, from our hearts. We felt that we had been helped so much and forgiven so much in our lives, that if we could help him, we needed to. So, we agreed.

Of course, here I was, still terrified that we were on the verge of losing our house! Every time I'd start to really stress out, I'd pray. I knew that God had a plan. I might not know what it was, or how it would work out, but I knew that it would. I also knew that I might not like it, and that it could be hard. After all, we hadn't been homeowners for ten years with a long track record of doing well. Why should they give us another chance? But I knew we were in His hands, and that I'd done everything I could.

Yesterday an envelope came. It was from the housing retention program that we applied for. The envelope was so thin I was scared to open it. Home loan agreements are usually thick and need to be signed about 1,000 times. But I did open it. They were pleased to inform us that they'd reworked our loan. They added what we owed to the principle balance, lowered our interest rate, and made our payments about the same!

I had money saved, thinking we'd have to pay a large sum to start to put things right. But we don't have to. We get to keep our house. I have a home to bring our new baby home to. And we even have money to cover the time I'll be on maternity leave!

I never dared pray for anything beyond keeping the house. And somehow, God's providence worked everything out beyond my wildest expectations. He was faithful to provide for us. I have been praising Him non-stop.

Would I still be thankful if things hadn't worked out this way? I don't know. I'd like to think so. I knew that even if I didn't like the answer, that He'd take care of us.

I'm not proud of this. It's embarrassing to feel like you can't take care of your family when they're depending on you. But I'm sharing this for a couple of reasons. First of all to say that it can happen to people who are responsible and hardworking. It's not all people who got in over their heads. We waited to buy. We put in a good down payment. We had sufficient income and didn't buy more house than we could afford. Second, I want to show how God can work. This didn't happen because we trusted in Him. This wasn't a reward for a job well done. But because we trusted that He would provide, it gave us peace as we went through the process.

God never left us alone in the fear. And He did provide.

He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and compassionate.

He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.

Psalm 111:4-5