Sea Monkeys...Why Not?

When Reagan was in the first grade, we did an educational Science unit on Sea Monkeys.  That's the fun of homeschooling, right?  Getting your kids something your mother would never get you, and making it educational at the same time.

We had a lot of Sea Monkeys.  Eventually they died.  One tank might have been dropped by an enthusiastic six year old.  Oops.

But, no one else remembers them.  Only Reagan.  Piper was just a baby.  Bridget wasn't even a thought (ok, maybe she was a thought), and that was all we had.....

Sorry, got lost in a dream of what it would be like to do laundry for just two kids and forgot where I was.

Anywho, since no one else remembers them, it's like we never had Sea Monkeys.  And since we have already established that raising Sea Monkeys can be both a Science Project and educational, I thought it was time we did it again.

I have a brand new tank of what I hope are tiny hatchlings in the kitchen right now.  And in a few weeks they should grow to the freakishly weird looking shrimp things you see in the picture above.  They are a type of Brine Shrimp.  They breathe through their feet.  Adults have 3 eyes.  They can reproduce with or without a mate.  And they're crazy awesome.

Changes

I'm a terrible blogger, I know. Sometimes I get on a roll. Then other times, life gets in the way and I'm so busy actually living, I forget to write about it. I know most of my readers are fine with that, but it's kinda sad for me. This blog has been a record of our family life since 2002, and it's a great way for me to remember things I'd otherwise forget.

But lately, everything has changed. This year marked the end of our homeschooling. At least formal homeschooling. I think every parent teaches their children. Reagan, Piper, Bridget, and Ciaran are all going to public school. While I was sad to see it end, I have to say, it's been wonderful, too. My day has become so much more structured with regards to the younger kids. Ciaran and Quinn especially. I know have time to do more with them and they love it. My house also looks much better. Not only do I have more time to clean it, but the kids aren't coming behind me and messing it up.

I thought I might miss them during the day, but now I have what I call my "Golden Hour" which is usually about 2 hours long, really. It's when Ciaran goes to school in the afternoon, Quinn and Brennan take a nap, and the house goes quiet. It's the most beautiful time in my whole day, and it's over way too fast.

On a more mundane note, my dryer is broken. Doing laundry for 8 people with no dryer, just blows.

What Am I Teaching Them?

While sorting laundry in the laundry room, I hear my three oldest children playing a game in the playroom.  For each letter of the alphabet, they name a food.  The following conversation begins:

Reagan: P.  People.

Mom: Reagan, we do NOT eat people!

Reagan: Cannibals do.

Mom: We are NOT cannibals!

Reagan: But you were singing "I eat cannibals"!

Mom: But we clarified, remember?  I eat animal cannibals.

Piper: With Dannimals.

Bridget: On toast!

Me: See?  We don't eat people!  And when the police come one day to ask me, I'm going to tell that that I taught you better.

Piper: Yeah, Reagan.  You can't be a cannibal.

Bridget: Yeah.  That's bad.

So there.  A complete home education with the lesson against cannibalism.  I think I can hang up my teachers hat confident in a full days' work.

The Case Against Homeschooling: Answered

When I find anti-homeschooling articles or blog posts online, I love to take the opportunity to answer them, point by point. This article I found through Spunky Homeschool. Spunky, I believe, also answered the post point by point, but I have not yet read her response. I wanted to write my own first. The Case Against Homeschooling blog post can be found here at the blog Teacher, Revised. The post I'm quoting will be italicized.

The Case Against Homeschooling

By JESSE SCACCIA

Homeschooling: great for self-aggrandizing, society-phobic mother…… but not quite so good for the kid.

My first issue with this post is in the very first sentence. It's not the first time I've seen the sentiment, but it irks me a bit every time. It tells me that this is an opinion piece likely not formed by personal experience with homeschoolers. It's akin to me starting a blog post saying that schools are great for lazy parents who don't want to raise their own children. That's not something I believe, by the way. But it's a pretty big generalization to make. And of course I happen to know that homeschooling can be great for kids. Something the research backs up.

Here are my top ten reasons why homeschooling parents are doing the wrong thing:

Oh, do tell!

10. “You were totally home schooled” is an insult college kids use when mocking the geeky kid in the dorm (whether or not the offender was home schooled or not). And… say what you will… but it doesn’t feel nice to be considered an outsider, a natural outcropping of being homeschooled.

Being an outsider is not a natural outcropping of being homeschooled. And I'm wondering why this particular reason should matter if a kid can be teased whether or not they actually were, in fact, homeschooled. How one educates their child should be about what's best for the child, not possible teasing in college. Especially since one can be an outsider for so many reasons.

9. Call me old-fashioned, but a students’ classroom shouldn’t also be where they eat Fruit Loops and meat loaf (not at the same time I hope). It also shouldn’t be where the family gathers to watch American Idol or to play Wii. Students–from little ones to teens–deserve a learning-focused place to study. In modern society, we call them schools.

Historically, this was not so. Throughout history children have been taught academics, trade, or both, in their home. It's modern society that calls such a place "school". The old-fashioned way is to teach at home. Does anyone besides me remember in the book Little Women where the mother pulls the youngest daughter out of school after a whipping from her teacher, and she and the older sisters take over her education? That was done then, back when schools were still a fairly new phenomenon. Where were kids on the Prairie educated when they were no where near a town? Who taught Abraham Lincoln in his little log cabin? Homeschooling isn't new.

What I don't think many people without experience with homeschooling realize is that there is a whole culture that springs up when a family is homeschooling. Learning is something that happens organically, naturally, everywhere. Why exactly do we need to contain a child's learning to one focused place?

8. Homeschooling is selfish. According to this article in USA Today, students who get homeschooled are increasingly from wealthy and well-educated families. To take these (I’m assuming) high achieving students out of our schools is a disservice to our less fortunate public school kids. Poorer students with less literate parents are more reliant on peer support and motivation, and they greatly benefit from the focus and commitment of their richer and higher achieving classmates.

Ah, the "we're selfish" argument. This is another one that tends to irk me. As a parent, my duty is to my child. To provide them the education that best suits their needs. It is not the job of students to educate their peers. Nor do I think that a good case can be made that homeschooling is indeed depriving anyone considering the very low statistics of homeschoolers in general. Right now we appear to be somewhere between 1-2% of the school-age population.

7. God hates homeschooling. The study, done by the National Center for Education Statistics, notes that the most common reason parents gave as the most important was a desire to provide religious or moral instruction. To the homeschooling Believers out there, didn’t God say “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations”? Didn’t he command, “Ye shall be witnesses unto me”? From my side, to take your faithful children out of schools is to miss an opportunity to spread the grace, power and beauty of the Lord to the common people. (Personally I’m agnostic, but I’m just saying…)

It is a pretty huge leap from saying that homeschoolers aren't taking advantage of the opportunity to proselytize at school to "God hates homeschooling." There are many ways to go forth and share the gospel. In fact, my children are out in the world all the time, living out their faith. The author also seems to fail to take into account the many Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, and Atheist homeschooling parents out there as well as the idea that most parents are against attempts to convert their children at school.

6. Homeschooling parent/teachers are arrogant to the point of lunacy. For real! My qualifications to teach English include a double major in English and education, two master’s degrees (education and journalism), a student teaching semester and multiple internship terms, real world experience as a writer, and years in the classroom dealing with different learning styles. So, first of all, homeschooling parent, you think you can teach English as well as me? Well, maybe you can. I’ll give you that. But there’s no way that you can teach English as well as me, and biology as well as a trained professional, and history… and Spanish… and art… and counsel for college as well as a school’s guidance counselor… and… and…

Another very old and well refuted argument. I could not and would not pretend to be as good an English teacher as this author. She's a well educated teacher, and I give her a lot of credit. My parents both have Masters Degrees, as does my sister, and they worked hard to learn to be able to teach an entire classroom of diverse students. I do not have that kind of experience.

I do, however, have a great deal of experience with my own children. I know them better than any teacher could. I'm their mother. I have been studying them and how they learn, since the day they were born. And I do have an education. The one I got in a public school. Why can't I pass that knowledge on to them? It was good enough for me, after all.

I also think that many outside the homeschooling community are unaware of the many resources for homeschoolers to become better acquainted with the subjects they'll teach, get college counseling for their students, etc, or the many colleges who've created standards specifically for homeschooled kids (you know, because they do so well). And there is no guarantee that every teacher in a school is going to be both knowledgeable about their subject and a good teacher of it. But we expect elementary school teachers to teach multiple subjects. Certainly I can as well. At least to my own children. I admit I would be lost in a classroom setting!

5. As a teacher, homeschooling kind of pisses me off. (That’s good enough for #5.)

It did my family at first, too. But then they saw how well my children were doing, and how willing I was to take advantage of all of the resources available to me, including a family of public school teachers, and they no longer feel that way. As I pointed out in my post recently Education Is The Goal, it doesn't have to be an us vs. them mentality. We all want the same thing. I'm not homeschooling to thumb my nose at hardworking teachers, but because I love teaching my kids and think they're thriving in a homeschooling environment. The two whom I think would be better served by a school setting are in school. It's all about what's best for them.

4. Homeschooling could breed intolerance, and maybe even racism. Unless the student is being homeschooled at the MTV Real World house, there’s probably only one race/sexuality/background in the room. How can a young person learn to appreciate other cultures if he or she doesn’t live among them?

Intolerance and racism exists everywhere. In homeschools, private schools, public schools, everywhere. My homeschooled kids play with a number of different kinds of kids in the neighborhood, which is pretty diverse. And we're out in the world, at the park, at the zoo, everywhere. My kids aren't afraid of different kinds of people at all. Kids aren't guaranteed diversity at school. It depends on their school. And going to school is not living among other cultures.

3. And don’t give me this “they still participate in activities with public school kids” garbage. Socialization in our grand multi-cultural experiment we call America is a process that takes more than an hour a day, a few times a week. Homeschooling, undoubtedly, leaves the child unprepared socially.

Undoubtedly? Let's see. Schools are structured. They don't allow socialization during classroom time, generally speaking. It would make teaching rather difficult. My son hardly has any time with his friends at school. He's too busy with classes. Even lunchtime is short, most of it spent trying to get and eat his food.

Socialization isn't just being around other people but learning how to work with them. This is often easily done in families. In fact, it is familial socialization that has been a huge benefit to my younger child with Autism. Between the socialization he gets at home, and the specialized services he gets at school, he's thriving. But he doesn't socialize much with the Autistic kids in his class. He socializes with his neurotypical siblings at home.

I wonder, Did anyone read Little House In The Big Woods and say how concerned they were that Laura and Mary Ingalls weren't being socialized properly because they were too isolated? No. They were learning how to behave socially from their parents. There are many ways to teach socialization as homeschoolers, both at home, at play with others, and in the community. I don't think it's healthy to expect other kids in a classroom to teach mine how to be social.

2. Homeschooling parents are arrogant, Part 2. According to Henry Cate, who runs the Why Homeschool blog, many highly educated, high-income parents are “probably people who are a little bit more comfortable in taking risks” in choosing a college or line of work. “The attributes that facilitate that might also facilitate them being more comfortable with home-schooling.”

More comfortable taking risks with their child’s education? Gamble on, I don’t know, the Superbowl, not your child’s future.

That the well-educated and wealthy homeschoolers (which by all means do not account for all of us) may feel comfortable taking risks with their college or career choice does not mean that they are taking risks with their children's education. Most homeschoolers put a lot of thought and care both in the decision to homeschool and in how they carry it out. Statistically, our children do very well. I don't think it's a gamble. And as insulting as the author finds the idea that homeschoolers might not trust teachers to teach their children (not a reason I homeschool) I find it equally insulting that the author thinks that my decisions with my children would be so shallow. My children are my life. And my choices for them are made with a great deal of research, thought, and care.

1. And finally… have you met someone homeschooled? Not to hate, but they do tend to be pretty geeky***.

*** Please see the comments for thoughts on the word ‘geeky.’ But, in general, to be geeky connotes a certain inability to integrate and communicate in diverse social situations. Which, I would argue, is a likely result of being educated in an environment without peers. It’s hard to get by in such a diverse world as ours! And the more people you can hang out with the more likely you are to succeed, both in work life and real life.

Geeky people are everywhere. Every geeky person I know went to school. Again, not a good reason to choose one method of education over another.

Education Is The Goal

I may have an unusual take on the issue of public school vs. homeschooling. My parents are both school teachers. My sister was a school teacher, though she's currently teaching teachers how to teach Math to grade school kids. I also have two kids who are being helped a great deal by the public school system.

I don't have any illusions about public schools. Personally, I had a terrible public school experience. I truly hated school. My education was quite good, but socially I was miserable. And having family on the front lines of trying to get their students what they needed, I know the issues with funding, too many administrators in some places, and the restrictions placed on teachers including real class time lost so that they can teach to tests.

But I didn't homeschool my kids because I hate public education or believe the worst about it. For example, I don't believe public school teachers are rigging tests to increase their funding. And most teachers that I've talked to, while concerned about money for education, are much more concerned with their day-to-day needs of their students. It's the administrators job to worry about funding.

There is no great push that I've seen to label kids as having special needs. From what I hear from special needs moms, the exact opposite is more often the case, with parents fighting hard to get their kids into the programs that they know their children need to succeed and the schools unwilling or unable to help. Schools may get increased funding for special needs kids, but they also have to spend a lot more, and allocate more resources. Right now, especially, that's hard to do. In our district, some special needs programs are being cut. Which, by the way, no one is happy about, including those working in the schools.

Homeschooling frees us from many of the restrictions placed on kids in school. Our kids can meet people of all ages, get real-life experiences in all the things we do, from going to the bank and grocery store, to hitting the library, or field trip spots when they're not overrun with school kids. We don't have to teach to tests. Some of us don't test our kids at all. It's not necessary, since we already know how well they're doing. We have the blessing of getting to know our children deeply from spending so much time with them.

Still, sometimes, school may be a better fit for a kid. It certainly is for my two sons right now. I do tell my oldest son, often, that if socially school is getting to be too much, he can always come back home. Interestingly, that gives him the freedom he needs to get through it. He knows there's always another option. But I don't think I could give Ciaran what he needs right now. He's blossomed in his school, and I'm so grateful.

I do take issue with groups like the NEA, who oppose homeschooling. Though most teachers I've talked to are unaware of this stance. I do take issue with moves by government to limit or restrict homeschoolers. I think the government should try to fix public schools with known issues before trying to fix homeschooling when there's no evidence that it's broken. I do think homeschoolers need to be aware of what is going on in the world of education so that we can continue to advocate for our rights and freedoms. I do think that schools have some real issues that will have to be addressed, and I think most people involved in the school system realize that. But, we all want our children to have a great education no matter where they go. And I'm grateful that I live in a country that provides an education to it's children. Especially when so many children in the world go without.

How Do They Learn?

I was about halfway through our curriculum today, and I was asking questions about the material we'd just read, and realized I was frustrated. I was starting to wonder if the girls listened at all when I read things, or we learned together.

I started thinking about how I know that they're learning. Here's the thing. When you see homeschoolers on TV, they're portrayed one of two ways. Either they're reclusive, religious nutjobs, or they're children are brilliant. I mean the kids are 6 years old and reciting the constitution, giving the weight of the human brain, and explaining the lifecycle of the sphynx moth. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the sphynx moth is fascinating, really, but honestly my kids couldn't be less interested in them. And I don't know that they'd remember we talked about them an hour after doing so. Even though I know that these portrayals aren't acurate, sometimes I feel like we're behind. In reality homeschooled kids are still just regular kids and I need to remember that.

Of course, I also want to know that they're learning. I mean, that's why I teach them. When I teach my toddlers, it's usually easy to see progress. Colors, numbers, letters, words, they show off pretty regularly. But with young children who are really starting to be given more academic work, it's sometimes really hard to tell if they're getting it. I think at this stage, teaching my girls is like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I keep picking up handfulls and tossing it, and some of it will fall, some of it will stick. Hence the picture at the top of this post. Interestingly, I thought there'd be more spaghetti on the wall pics available on the internet. But this is the only one I found that wasn't an odd form of modern art. Go figure.

Anywho, I've decided that I should view this period as an introduction to learning time. They're learning how to listen, and how to process the information. They're learning to read more than they're reading to learn. It's my job to just keep putting the information in, which by the way, is really educational for me. And at the very least, I'm laying a foundation on which we will build as they get older.

This is also a really good time to help them develop their study habits, spend time together, and enjoy that time we have learning together, learning about the world and each other. This is the time to keep working on the bonds we've been building since birth.

I'm just hoping more information sticks to them than falls on the floor.

Teaching

When I imagined homeschooling, I pictured a room devoted to the task. I pictured eager children who loved to learn, and loved to learn from me. I pictured a never ending wellspring of creativity from which would pour forth teaching like I'd always dreamed of having, like I got from my best teachers. And with that, I would show my children the world.

Can you tell I hadn't had much real experience with homeschooling?

The ideal I had in my head was beautiful, and sometimes I hold on to bits and pieces of that dream so that I have inspiration when I'm tapped out. But I've discovered a few things about myself. For instance, I'm not crafty. I don't make things out of household objects. Thus, we don't do a lot of crafts. I love the people who make things with their kids. That's not me. I prefer book work and reading. Also, I am not that organized. I'm never going to be that mom with detailed lesson plans for each child.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that if I teach my children to love reading, they can learn anything. The world will be open to them through books. And so, our curriculum is, and has always been, heavy with reading. I think it's one of the reasons the Charlotte Mason approach appeals to me. I love reading real literature with them, and watching them stretch their imagination beyond Nick Jr.

In my mind, I think I also pictured homeschooling to be natural, and effortless. Maybe for some people it is. I, however, am not one of those people. Homeschooling for me involves a lot of juggling. I have limited time, multiple demands for it, and not nearly enough hands. Right now I have them both work on Math while I clean the kitchen in the morning. Then one does writing while I read with the other, then we switch. We read some stories together, and we do nature learning together, and we learn what ever our focus topic is (right now it's Yellowstone National Park) together. Then I send Bridget off to play while Piper does spelling. And of course, frequent breaks to mind Quinn who gets some free time to explore new toys while we're doing school.

Sometimes they don't want to learn. Sometimes, I don't want to teach. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I have no idea what I'm doing. And then I hear Piper read, or Bridget share something she's learned and I realize again how well they're doing.

Homeschooling involves a lot of pressure. Their entire education is my responsibility. If they don't learn something, I have no one to blame but myself. What I'm having to learn now, in order to be the best teacher, is that Our Homeschool isn't going to look like a picture in a magazine, nor like the stereotypical big family all around the table quietly learning together. No. Our Homeschool will be just that: Ours. It will be made up of us, and all that we are. It will be unique and well suited to who we are as individuals and as a family. It may not be how I pictured it in my head, but it will be truly special. Because, while homeschooling can be hard, I have found it so incredibly rewarding.

Big Day

We got right to school this morning. And we covered a lot. Religion included "God's Is Holy" from our Leading Little Ones To God book, Psalm 99, and the story of Polycarp from Trial and Triumph. Then it was Math, Reading, Writing, story time, starting our study of Yellowstone National Park, Spelling, and another chapter of Little House in the Big Woods.

At this point, Ciaran came home, and we all ate. Then I got ready and I took all the kids with me to speech. I realized what an impression our religion lesson had made when Bridget started singing up a made up song to the coat rack that consisted mostly of the word "Holy". They were really awesome at speech though. It was amazing how much Ciaran did with his sisters there. He took turns, communicated "help", said "my turn", etc. Some people might think it's not such a good idea to have a big family when you have children with Autism who need a lot of time and attention. But really, for us, having a big family has largely been a big help.

After speech we went to Babies R Us to look around. The kids were good there too, but I was starting to feel the tired of lugging so many in and out of the car. It's all the car seat strapping, I think. It wears me out. Right now I long to have a bunch of kids who can fasten their own seat belts. But I know that when I do, I'll long for the days when they were all babies. Hey, at least I'm honest. I know I'm only kidding myself about the greener grass on the other side of the fence.

I guess today wasn't that spectacular for any special reason. It was just another day in the life. My kids were kids. They got made at each other, played together, and loved each other. We did every day things in every day ways. We laughed, learned, and enjoyed what we were given. And maybe there's a lesson in that somewhere too. One day these days will all blur together and I'll miss them. But today was just...today. And it was good.

Staying Motivated

It’s not just blogging. Really. It’s…homemaking. Now, don’t say it too loud! In an age where the latest homeschooling, homemaking, motherhood, wife blog is just a click away, it’s become almost something terrible to admit that one is just plain burned out.

I have read the blogs of women with far more children than I have, who run home based businesses, help their husbands with businesses or ministries. These women are busy homeschooling, baking bread from scratch, keeping their homes clean, educating their children in the faith, and decorating. Where have I gone wrong?

My house is never as clean as I want it to be, and time spent cleaning it is time that I’m not engaging the children. That means it’s time that they are elsewhere, making a new mess I’ll likely have to clean up when I’m done with whatever I’m doing now. If I’m really on top of things and starting to feel good about it, the cat will pee. I swear that cat was sent just to keep me humble. Then around 3 pm I become totally wiped out. I need a nap. I only manage to drag my butt out of bed to make dinner, try to get everyone wrangled into pajamas, things put away, and then to bed.

I know part of it is that I’m pregnant again. But Michelle Duggar has 18 kids, and she seems to do plenty while pregnant! Then again, I don’t really know that. I don’t live in her house and I don’t know anyone in real life who has as many kids as I do. So, I know I’m probably judging myself by a completely unfair standard, and yet, I still do it.

Some days I think I’m going to turn this into the kind of blog that will attract all kinds of mothers who will come to see what new thing I’ve learned, or what lesson I can impart. Honestly, though, I don’t know that I will ever be able to make that happen. Sometimes I just plain laugh at the truly lovely homemaker blogs where a mom with 2 very young children is imparting parental and spousal wisdom to me. It’s not that the information shared isn’t valuable or that the blogs aren’t truly well done. It’s that I wonder how they’ve come to have such expertise when I’ve been at this gig so much longer and sometimes feel like I’m still playing catch up! Regardless, I’ve come to realize and appreciate that I’m the blog you go to so that you know you’re not the only mom at the end of the day who’s happy if she got through the basic school subjects with her homeschooled kiddos, managed not to make the place look worse, and made sure no one received any serious injuries.

I don’t know what the trick is for staying motivated. Most of the blogs I read make me feel like I’m starting from behind, and somewhat defeated. But I know I’m not the only one at the end of the day who contents themselves with having been “good enough” and puts the rest in God’s hands.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

Psalm 62:1

Reading

I was reading to the girls tonight before they went to bed. Piper with her body that seems to get longer every day, and Bridget with her first wiggly tooth that she can’t stop worrying. I had my arms around them, and a book in my lap, and I had one of those moments. The kind of moment in which you’re reminded of all the reasons you love being a mom. Their mom.

Suddenly the day went away with it’s tattling, silly arguments, and prodding to get chores and such done. All of the negatives washed away on the rythmic cadence of a bedtime story.

I received a comment recently to an old blog post that was basically a ranting tirade against homeschoolers. The author questioned the moral character and sanity of any person who would even consider such a course of action. I wondered what he’d think if he could see us there in that moment, little girls heads leaning on my chest as we all cuddled together to read of a little boy who gave a gift to God.

Certainly one doesn’t have to homeschool to obtain the kind of close relationship we’ve worked hard to build with our kids. But for us, homeschooling has made it easier. And I’m so grateful for the time it’s allowed me just to be with them. One day, sooner than I imagine, they will be grown. Even sooner will come the point where they’d rather read their own stories at bedtime than to hear me read. When that happens I will be so grateful for this time we had together doing something as simple as sharing a book.

Fantasy Vs. Reality

Fantasy: I'm up by 7 am every morning and in my apron frying up fresh organic eggs and bacon for my clean, dressed, happy children.

Reality: It's a good day if we're all up by 8. It's a miracle if we're all dressed. And we're much more likely to be tossing out quick bowls of cereal and juice.

Fantasy: My children will learn easily with my gentle teaching.

Reality: My kids get frustrated if they don't get something the first time. Sometimes I get frustrated if I can't teach them something the first time.

Fantasy: My children will be busy all day with dioramas, Science books, nature journals or reading Shakespeare between our hikes, organic baking, and service to the community.


Reality: My children would much rather play with toys, play outside and do what they want to do. I'm not big on crafts and have never seemed to be able to carve out the time I need to volunteer.

Fantasy: My children will be well behaved everywhere we go and be the model for homeschooled children everywhere.

Reality: Bridget has developed the brooding surly attitude of a girl 3 times her age and we're working on breaking her of it. While they're good kids, they're not perfect. And they seem to be especially not perfect when I'd most like them to be.

Fantasy: I will have a clean house, laundry done, kids fed and clean and all in perfect order.

Reality: Days fly by and if I've managed to get through it and get something accomplished at the same time, it was a really good day.

All the fantasies should be abandoned. None of us will ever measure up to them. I'm real and imperfect. So are my kids. But the reality of our life, while maybe not as clean and perfect as the fantasy, has a depth and a joy to it that sterile fantasies could never come close to matching. Our days are organic, flowing, changing, and fun. And it may not be perfect, but the rewards are unmatched. And there's no place I'd rather be than here with them.

Meme: Where Do You Homeschool?

Where do we homeschool?  The question has been asked by The Heart of the Matter and is being answered by homeschooling moms and dads all over the place.

It's a really hard question to answer, because, as homeschoolers, we take our educational opportunities as we find them.  We homeschool all over the place.

We homeschool at the kitchen table, the couch, the grocery store, the bank, the post office, the car, on airplanes, and everywhere else in between.

Homeschooling is flexible, portable, and can become an easy extension of your every day home life.  The best part is that I keep learning, too.  And it's a really incredible bond that's forged when you discover the world with your children.

Socialization At Home

My mother made a comment today that I wasn't supposed to take personally, yet I did.  She said she hoped I wouldn't wait until fifth grade to put Piper into a public school like I did Reagan.  Not wanting to simply be offended at a perceived slight, I asked my mother why she thought Piper needed to go to school.  My mother was quick to explain that while she thought I was an excellent teacher, she thought Piper should have more socialization.  I looked at her in complete surprise and said, "Have you met my daughter?",  for a more social child would be hard to find.

I think socialization persists as one of the great homeschooling myths because it is so hard to quantify, or test.  We don't have children winning National socialization contests, or surpassing their public schooled counterparts in socialization testing.  Still, I thought that my mother, seeing my children as she does, would see quite easily that socialization is not an issue for them.

She assured me that she could see that Piper was quite social and appropriately so.  But she worries about the future.  My mother will acknowledge that my child gets on well with peers, is learning appropriately and is bright.  Yet to her, school is something more than just a place to learn, but it is a place where one begins networking for the future.  And socialization is more than just how people think a child interacts now, but how they think a child will interact later.

I go back repeatedly to the idea that children throughout history have been properly socialized within the context of the family.  Teaching my children how to interact with the rest of the world can be taught quite well in a homeschool setting.  Therefore, the decision of where my children will be educated will be always based on what we believe their current needs to be and where they will best be met.  For the time being, Piper has no need for public school.

A Well Informed Mind

A well-informed mind is the best security against the contagion of folly and of vice. The vacant mind is ever on the watch for relief, and ready to plunge into error, to escape from the languor of idleness.
Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764

What a great way to say that the idle mind, like idle hands, are the "devil's playground". I don't even think that it's necessary that children be involved in highly structured learning so long as they are provided daily opportunities to explore knowledge and the world around them.

A Homeschool Family

Because we homeschoolers have got to be able to laugh at ourselves.

Ron Paul Discusses Homeschooling

The man I believe to be most pro-homeschooling currently running at the moment. Thank you to Becky of Home Sweet Homeschooling for sharing this! We do share the Ron Paul love.

Trudging Through

Six days on at work, homeschooling, and a ferocious estrogen surge that's left me a weepy mess. And I'm still going. Still teaching Piper her reading lessons, teaching her numbers and letters, and trying to make time to read together. But, our homeschooling isn't going too far beyond that unless something piques her curiosity and we start looking for answers together.

I think this is one of those times that I should be writing about how much we have to be thankful for and how much good is going on in our family, because there's plenty. Instead all I want to write is how I feel completely drained and would love to take a hot mocha to my bedroom and hide for a while. Unfortunately, I don't think that's covered in the contract I signed with the Mommy Union when I hired on. Instead it will be another late night up getting things done, and another early morning back on. And of course there's the obligatory 4 AM visit from Bridget so I don't spend the night alone.

Seriously, could I just have a few extra hours to sleep, maybe I could shake it.



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Now playing: Jars Of Clay - Frail
via FoxyTunes

Responsible Homeschooling

Rudy Giuliani made a speech recently in an attempt to court the more conservative voters. In it, he specifically addressed an issue dear to my heart, that of homeschooling. As a homeschooling parent, I want the freedom to educate my child as I see fit without government interference. I want the ability to choose the curriculum I wish, teach in the manner I wish, and generally be left alone to meet the needs of my children.

The speech Giuliani gave sounded okay, except for one little word, "responsible". The quote (reported on here) is, 'Every parent in America should have the right to send their children to the school of their choice – including the right of responsible parents to choose home-schooling". It's possible I'm nit-picking, but the use of that word bothered me.

Frankly, my concern is in regards to what "responsible" means to Mr. Giuliani and others in power. From what I've read, the NEA thinks a responsible homeschooler is a licensed educator using a state approved curriculum. If it's their standards being used, I would miss the mark completely. Some people think, a responsible homeschooler would be one using an approved curriculum and submitting to regular checks and testing. If that's the standard, again, I would miss the mark.

Homeschoolers are an eclectic bunch. From structured Classical education, to the "living books" of Charlotte Mason, to the religious Abeka or Catholic Heritage, to the freestyle of the unschooler, we are all doing what is necessary to meet the needs of our children. Personally, what I'd like to hear from leaders is their plan to keep their hands off of homeschoolers and protect our right to continue educating our children freely. And I'd like them to protect those rights because we are the parents, not because we meet some arbitrary standard of "responsible".


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Now playing: Tori Amos - China
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Personality, Service, And Homeschooling

I was listening to a Thatmom podcast this evening and was so proud of myself for "getting" one of the points before it was even made. She was talking about what it means to be meek. I remember when I was younger the kinds of characters I loved in books. They were always the women I most wished I was like. Melanie Wilkes, loved by all for her kindness and quiet wisdom, is a good example. My best friend, however, loved Scarlett O'Hara for her ability to speak her mind. I, really, already had the speaking my mind thing covered. I wanted to be something I didn't see in myself.

It was actually while listening to the podcast, with the total ability to note immediately that God has not made us all in that particular image and that Karen should embrace being the woman that God created her to be, that I realized that has remained my goal. I have struggled to become someone I am not instead of embracing the woman God made me to be. Not that I can't be better. Just that I can't be someone else. Being a Godly woman does not lie in having a certain personality type.

As a parent, I have long believed that my job is not to break my child's spirit, or even bend their will toward mine, but to gently guide their passions and strengths toward good things. Toward Godly things. I do not have mild children. I have children with strong ideas and thoughts (I can't imagine where they get that). Bending and guiding them is a careful process, lest I break their tender branches and wound them. Whatever they are called to do they will do with vigor, I have no doubt.

Which brings me to my last thought. A question I am not entirely sure I have answered, or even if I can answer it. How do I put the hearts of servants into my children in a way that speaks to their different personalities? I think homeschooling has been a good start. They have to learn daily about what it means to work together, how to be a team, how to put their own desires aside for the best of someone else, and the joy that comes from serving one another.

Whether or not one homeschools for religious reasons, I think most of us want to teach our children about service, and what it means to give to a community. I think we all want to teach our children about doing good, and being good to others. We all want to raise good citizens. So, is the real challenge in making sure that they volunteer? Or is it in the every day chances they have to serve each other? Is it a combination of the two? Is it seeing their parents serve each other, the community, and them? Is it the little spoken lessons, or the longer ones as they get older? Is it in their religious education? And which things are best for which personalities?

Perhaps it is in all of these, woven carefully together in an intricate pattern of daily life and learning as a family. I pray that it is so, and that my children will grow up knowing how to serve one another and the community to which they belong in a way that honors the unique talents and gifts that God has given them.

How To Homeschool While Irritable

For me, the answer to this question has been, don't.

I haven't been feeling well the last few days. Add to that some pregnancy hormones and generalized irritability and I'm a bit cranky. I actually haven't been doing schoolwork with Piper because I don't think I have the patience for it.

This could be a moment for me to drop into my usual guilt, thinking that I'm inadequate as a mother and a teacher for my children. Or it could be a chance to withdraw and do nothing while I feel sorry for myself.

This time, however, I've decided to do something different. I am aware that I can't control the feelings. I can, however, control my actions. So, I've decided to take this time and use it to reflect on where I am and where God wants me to be. I have decided to focus some time on His Word and in prayer in the hopes that this may be one of those times that He tames my stubborn spirit and uses my foul mood to bring about some necessary change in me. Instead of self-pity, I will attempt introspection and do my best to be silent and listen to God.

Please keep me in prayer.