It's Not Okay

Bullying...just sucks.  I was not a confident little girl. There was a time I thought that perhaps it was my early abuse that made me different. But looking back after raising a child with Asperger's, I wonder if I wasn't a mild Aspie myself.  Whatever it was, I was a target.

Kids can smell different.  They didn't know why I used words they didn't, or why I preferred to read during recess instead of play handball.  They couldn't understand why I didn't enjoy group  sports, or why I didn't always understand their non-verbal social cues.  So it was on.  I was teased mercilessly and frequently emotionally toyed with.  School became torture.

By middle school I had decided if I was going to be considered different, I was going to be really good at it. And I was. I reveled in everything that set me apart, and began to find others like myself.

In High School I became one of the only openly practicing Pagan students. It was the grunge era, and it fit me just fine. I was emo enough to fit in great with long black tee-shirts and flannels.  I wore different like a suit.  If I was going to be bullied, it would be on my terms.  Somehow, that didn't make it hurt less.

I survived my bullying, and it did get better.  But I thought when I was a grown up, the bullying would be over.  I was shocked to find that the mentality was alive and well on the internet.  Women with the benefit of anonymity and a keyboard could say things they'd never imagine saying to someone's face.  Moms turning against moms.  I can be like childhood all over again.  Just with a much better vocabulary.  It turns out, I'm not the only one who's bothered by that.

We're focused as a nation on changing the culture of bullying in our schools.  It's time to do it for grown-ups, too.

So I've taken the Mom Pledge:

I am a proud Mommy Blogger. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, "right" way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against online bullying. My blog is my space. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks from my blog with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

Read the pledge for yourself, here.

So, who else wants to take the Mom Pledge?