I'll Never Understand

I am absolutely fascinating by the Casey Anthony trial. I started following the story, like much of America, 3 years ago when the sweet little girl was reported missing. She was born in August of '05 and I kept thinking, she was the age Sarah would have been, had she lived. Another little girl, lost to her family. I prayed that she would be found.

Like many others, I was also baffled. I always hate to believe that a parent could have anything to do with the disappearance of a child. But I couldn't wrap my mind around how Casey Anthony could have let her daughter remain missing for a month, knowing who took her, and not tell anyone.

I had been a girl, pregnant at 19, like Casey. I also stayed with my parents, and began raising my child under their roof. Reagan belonged to all of us, as Caylee did to the Anthony family. I knew that I would have gone completely ballistic within half an hour of a babysitter not returning my child, and nothing would have kept me from calling the authorities. If she was a scary lady, who could threaten my family, I wouldn't have left my child with her to begin with.

I hated to do it, but I suspected that Casey had something to do with her daughter's disappearance, and it broke my heart for that little girl, and for Casey's family who obviously adored them both.

Now, after three years, I think it's clear that Casey is guilty of the death of her daughter. I only hope the truth is made clear in court, and some justice is done. Part of me still wishes she'd just come clean, tell us all what happened. Fill in the holes in the story. Make us understand.

But how can we ever really understand? How can any of us who work so hard to keep our children safe, ever understand how a mother could hurt her daughter? I want ration and reason to be brought to this story, but there is no rational answer that will ever satisfy me, because it was such an irrational act. There will never be a way for me to understand. And honestly, I'm not sure I'd believe her anyway. I don't know if Casey Anthony would know the truth if it bit her on the ass.

I have no compassion for Casey, but I don't envy her the rest of her life, living with her thoughts and her guilt. I'd like to have some kind of sympathy for her, but somehow my allotment was all used up on her precious little girl who died after being chloroformed and covered in duct tape. And it's with her parents and brother who've suspended reason to try to keep their faith in her, and have been rewarded only with more betrayal as she accuses her father and brother of molestation, and now says that it's her father who disposed of Caylee's body after she accidentally drowned.

It will be interesting to see how this case finishes. I know I will never forget Caylee Anthony who now plays with my Sarah in the gardens of the Summerland. Rest in peace, Caylee. I'm so sorry.