Living On The Edge

As I type this, sweet little Liam is asleep on my chest. We brought him home on Tuesday, and to be honest, I hardly put him down for about 24 hours. I was so happy to finally have him home where he belongs, I just didn't want him anywhere but with me.

Sometimes I get brave. After finding out that there are You Tube videos about encephalocele's, I went to watch some. Now, here is my baby in my arms, and they still managed to scare me. As if it could come back and still steal him away.  He's done so well, I think I sometimes let myself forget how many babies are diagnosed with this, and don't make it.

I was told that I might wonder, why me? Why Liam? Why this? And knowing that one of Sarah's diagnoses was encephalocele, I certainly have wondered how this could happen to us twice. But I don't think, why me, with regards to the diagnosis. I think, why me, when I think of him being here in my arms. Alive.

Why did we get to keep our baby? Why does he seem to be okay? I'm not looking for anything to change, mind you. Sometimes I just can't believe we've been so lucky. He's here, growing, and getting stronger, and I'm so overwhelmed by gratitude.

I have so much blogging to catch up on. But for today I'm just going to say a giant Thank You to the Universe, the Gods, and all of those who've thought of us.