We had our down time, too. On Thursday nights my girlfriends and I would watch Friends, crochet, and then get a Starbucks and then catch E.R. George Clooney was dreamy and we couldn't party every night. But that is just not my life anymore.
I don't want to say that I'm bored. I'm not bored. There's always something to do. Laundry, cleaning, diapers, kids, husband. I am not bored. But I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting boring. Who cares if my baby has thrown up on me again, or how many diapers I've changed, or if I've found a fabulous new way of cleaning my sink (I haven't by the way).
The thing is, I know I'm living a crazy adventure. I share the secrets of little girls. I get the sweetest little boy kisses. I know what makes a Liam giggle. When I'm doing this right, every day is an adventure. Every day is a little bit magic. I'm sharing the moments that they will remember when they're grown and off in the world. And damned if my kids aren't funny. I sometimes wonder what I laughed at before they came along.
There's this kind of odd period when you have really young children. And I've been in this period for longer than most people these days are. Some people have the freedom of older kids. Some people have the freedom of no kids. And it can seem a little dull to spend most of your time picking toys up off the floor and reminding the little people to flush the toilet and wash their hands. But this is what the rest of it is all based on. The relationships we make with our kids when they're little, it's huge. So I'm going to keep drinking my coffee and sharing the magic as I find it, where I find it, and well, when I find it.
I could have written this same post. :-) Once upon a time I was a Goth girl with blue hair who took in at least two concerts a month and swore she'd name a future son after Trent Reznor. (I did by the way). Now I'm mom to three but only one of them is old enough to ask about what kind of life I may have had B.C. (Before children).
ReplyDeleteYou are still that person. Some days it does seem boring to be a mother, but other times it is so fulfilling and makes a woman feel like she can do anything.
ReplyDeleteAnd, this is a phase of your life, just like your Tori Amos phase (I'm a big fan so I loved that bit)and soon you will have another phase. Every phase has its boring moments.
Believe me, this won't be the most boring!!!
I wonder if this isn't something all new Moms feel - I mean, to us every little thing our kids do is exciting or funny, but we can't help but remember our pre-kid days when we'd roll our eyes at those women going on and on about their kids...And God knows there are days when I am, just a teensy bit, bored with the drudgery of the never-ending laundry, the diapers, the house that never stays clean...and then Connor will do something magical and funny and awesome and it all goes away.
ReplyDeleteI think we're still the girls we once were inside, our sense of wonder has just shifted. But I will totally go dancing with you someday ;)
- D
Well said. I was reading my journal the other day from just before I had my first son (I kept a journal for one year only!). I was floored by an entry that said pretty much "Got home from work at 5, made dinner, Ben ran to church for a meeting, I did some laundry and scrapbooked, then met up with friends (half an hour away) to see the new Star Trek movie." The thought of going to the movies at 9-10 at night fills me with exhaustion now!
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